Written by: Erica Sawyer September 21, 2018
A total ramble….but totally true:
Ever have those days.. those kind of days where you wake up and you just know that if you get out of bed things are going to be bad?? And you do, and they are?? Everything, and I mean everything, you try to do that day is met with such resistance you’re not quite sure what you’ve done to the universe to make things so difficult. But you can’t just quit. You have to get up and do the things you got to do to get through the day. so you do.
You make your coffee and you forget to put the pot underneath it so it goes all over the counter all over the floor and now you’re mopping up the floor. And as you’re mopping up the floor you throw out your back for the day. No big deal I survive days with a thrown out back before.
And so you press on.
You make the irritating phone calls that you have been avoiding because you’re just in “that kind of mood” today. Slaying giant dragons doesn’t seem to be a so fearful.
So you get the customer service agent on the phone and take care of business in a way that probably might not have been the most Christ-like manner, so you have to apologize because you feel like an ass, but at least you got it done. You feel accomplished in some way.
But your day is not over yet; you got grocery shopping to do… coffee and eggs that’s all you need. So you venture out to the grocery store and when you get to the grocery store you discover that the coffee you want is on the top shelf and now I have to humbly ask for some help.
Do you think I’m in that kind of mood today oh no not today Satan. It’s just one of those days where I’m on the warpath and I can’t really see what’s coming at me. so instead of humbly looking around and ask for help to get the coffee that I really want I settle for something that I’m not really sure I’ll even like. But I just wasn’t in the mood.
so I go to the self-checkout because I really only have a couple of things and as I’m trying to get the self-checkout to work it doesn’t understand I have organic broccoli. After 3 attempts of yanking myself up on my wheel so I can even see the screen of this thing, I decide I’ll go to the regular check out.
so I choose the one that’s not necessarily the longest but it’s not necessarily the shortest either. But it ends up being the longest anyway. I’ve got a couple of things and everybody in front of me has probably 200 and the cashier is commenting on every item these people are buying. Good grief, it’s ok…don’t flip. It’s just Satan testing you. Oh but not today Satan not today. So I sit there and wait. yeah I was probably more torture than it needed to be but, again, I was in one of those moods.
So finally after seemingly waiting forever to get up to the register I go to put my credit card into the machine which by the way I can never read because they mount them so high so as I tilt the thing down it’s not high enough to accept my credit card in the stupid chip reader so my credit card chip malfunctions and I can’t get it to work.
I’m about ready to FLIP OUT at the grocery store with my “Not Today Satan” shirt on!!
In the midst of all this a seemingly nice gentleman walks up that works at the store and asks if I need help carrying my items out to the car. Oh not today. Yeah I did not accept help sure probably not the smartest thing to have done on a day like today but I really didn’t want to talk to anybody either. you know that awkward walk to the car where you really should say something to the guy but you’re in no mood. That was me.
so I finally get my stuff paid and as I’m trying to juggle the stuff on my lap I realize it was pretty stupid of me to not have accepted that guy’s help. I mean after the day that I was having and it wasn’t even 10 in the morning I wouldn’t be surprised if you dropped all these groceries right in the middle of this parking lot. Surprisingly and thankfully enough that didn’t happen. But I get out to the car and realize I’m an idiot. A complete idiot. I’m letting my whole day run my feelings. suddenly a conversation I had earlier came to mind. I had completely misunderstood a text message and it was actually quite funny my misunderstanding. For the first time that day I had actually laughed. And it felt good.
Why is it sometimes that we can be so engulfed in our own world we don’t even see the help that surrounds us??
We become so engrossed by the negativity by the “woe is me” attitude it steals away from your joy. it’s hard. It’s not easy. It’s a constant struggle. It’s a day-by-day thing it’s an hour to hour minute-to-minute second to second humbling of yourself. Humility isn’t easy. And I’m not talking about shame humility here people. This is the kind of humility where you empty yourself, stop having an entitled attitude, I deserve this, why me, comparing yourself to others, thinking you’re better than others “attitude”. I mean what is wrong with me this poor guy is asking to help me and I’m like no not today. God calls us to be available and I certainly wasn’t available at that moment.
I had to change my way of thinking to snap out of it though. I had to completely shift my focusing to more positive more uplifting thoughts.
The drive home was actually pleasant, I smiled rolled the windows down, and actually enjoyed the ride home.
I pulled in the garage got my groceries out and then realized I had forgotten the eggs. I had two choices at that minute. I can flip out or Cry Out. I cried out that day. I called up a good old friend that I knew had some chickens and just waited for the perfect opportunity to see if I could finagle some. You know what happened. They got delivered to me.
That’s what friends are for. That’s what crying out is supposed to do for you. Help you with your problems, but doing so in a manner in which we are reliant upon others to help us.
And then that evening I was supposed to go to a rodeo but really wasn’t all that excited about spending $18 for a rodeo ticket. God is so good though. my friend called me and she said let’s go to dinner instead and we had the best dinner together. It’s nice to just be able to chat with people that hold no judgement against you.
2nd Corinthians talks about being comforters to others. Comforting people can come in all sorts of ways. But without other people we’re just merely alone in this world. With our “Not Today Satan” tshirt on and nothing but a negative attitude.
So shift your thinking in this moment right now…Not Today Satan!!
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